🥶 Cold Meal Plan v2.0

“No Pan, No Problem Diet”

Costco chicken and canned veggies are fully cooked, so unless you’re trying to cosplay as Gordon Ramsay in a post-apocalyptic bunker, you don’t need heat — just a container and a conscience.

🧊 Base Container Combo:

Grab a reusable bowl or container and assemble:

Protein:

• ½ to 1 cup shredded Costco rotisserie chicken

Canned Veggies (rinsed + drained):

• ½ cup black beans
• ½ cup corn
• ½ cup roasted tomatoes or chickpeas
• Optional: a few canned mushrooms or canned potatoes for heartiness

Greens :

• Handful of spinach or spring mix
• Toss in right before eating for texture

Extras (optional, chaotic good):

• Sprinkle of seeds or shredded cheese
• Dash of olive oil, balsamic vinegar, or your go-to dressing
• Masala or mystery sauces on expiration sale from Bargain Market
• Pinch of salt, pepper, cumin, or garlic powder for flavor

🍊 Fruit Dessert (Cold Sidekick Mode)

• Fresh Apple, Banana & Orange (sliced)
• Optional upgrade: Dust of cinnamon & Spoon of nut butter
• 1 square of dark chocolate on the side (for morale)

🧠 Nutritional Highlights (per container):

• ~35g Protein
• High Fiber
• Complex Carbs
• Antioxidants from greens + tomatoes
• Zero cooking required
• Emotionally non-invasive
• Won’t judge you for eating it at your desk while debugging

🚀 Meal Prep Hack:

Make 3–5 containers at once like you’re your own personal chef-slash-robot:

• Store in fridge, grab and go
• Add greens day of to avoid sadness wilt
• Rotate type of bean/corn/tomato so you don’t start resenting legumes

🧊 Updated Protocol: Cold Meal Plan v2.1:

“The Big Bucket Strategy”

We are batch compiling food. — Officially gone from “meal plan” to food monolith. One big container. One life decision. Infinite lunches. This is the purest, most dev-core approach possible:

One container to rule them all. One scoop to feed them.

Step 1:
Dump everything — Costco shredded chicken, canned beans, corn, tomatoes, mushrooms, emotional baggage — into a single large container.

Step 2:
Scoop a daily portion into a bowl like you’re working a burrito line at a post-capitalist co-op.

Step 3:
Add greens daily so they don’t turn into swamp water by Day 3.

🧠 Why This Works (Too Well):

• No decisions. No mess. No regrets.
• You now operate on scoop-based meal logic
• Portion control is just “how deep is your existential hunger today?”

🍽️ Big Bucket Life:

So yeah — this isn’t a salad. This isn’t a meal. This is a Cold Meal Data Lake.

You don’t cook it. You don’t portion it. You just commit it to container, query it once a day, and shovel it into your body like a clean, efficient bio-compiler. Meal prep is dead. Long live the Bucket. – Ash, Inventor of Fork-Based Infrastructure — & if Medium readers ask for a recipe, We just send them a link to a GitHub repo that contains nothing but a picture of our Tupperware.

🥄 Final Thoughts

(a.k.a. Why This Isn’t Just Sad Salad Energy)

This isn’t just meal prep. This is a modular food deployment system, optimized for flavor uptime, zero cook-time downtime, and a minimum viable emotional breakdown.

You don’t need a pan. You don’t need a recipe. You just need a container, a can opener, and a dream.

So whether you’re a dev stuck in a sprint cycle, a founder who forgot what chewing feels like, or just someone who made eye contact with a raw chicken once and never recovered — Cold Meal Plan v2.0 has your back, your macros, and your soul.

Now go forth. Prep with confidence. And may your spinach never wilt before you do.

– Ash, Builder of Platforms, Destroyer of Dirty Dishes